Dear Self

Slow down.

Dear Self,

Slow down.

No, slower than that.

No, even slower than that.

No. Really.

Slow. Down.

Really.

Actually.

Just.

Slow.

Down.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,322

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Other people’s stuff.

Dear Self,

I so easily look at other people’s stuff and know what they should do.

I can see their insecurities so clearly. Can see how they are undermining their own goals. Can see the logical, obvious, pathway through for them.

If they could just get over themselves everything would be fine.

Funny how I can’t seem to do all that for myself.

If I could just get over myself…

Love

Luke

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Day 1,321

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I can only live today.

Dear Self,

Looking forwards there is so much to worry about.

What’s going to happen?

How will things work out?

Will things work out?

I’m afraid of ending up alone.

There’s nothing I can do about tomorrow.

Today, I’m not alone.

I can only live today.

Tomorrow is for tomorrow.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,320

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Driving for hours.

Dear Self,

Does driving 1,000 kilometres change things?

I suppose it does.

Driving for hours on end gives me time to think and think and think…with-out really thinking, if you know what I mean.

I’ll let all the things move into the background.

And see what I come up with.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,319

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

The shape of friendship

Dear Self,

I think I may have inadvertently become an expert in friendship.

Or at least developed a more complex understanding of it.

Or…perhaps it’s that I’m starting to change my belief that I am inept at friendship.

A few years ago, I identified that I felt overwhelmed, out of my depth, with making and maintaining friendships. Since then I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about friendship. During all that I have realised I was always looking at things as if I was particularly bad at friendships, unlike everyone else who are really good at them.

For some unknown reason I’ve looked up and suddenly noticed that this isn’t true. Most people are swimming around trying to understand what this whole friendship thing is all about.

I think the shape of any given friendship is always changing.

They are continuously unexpected.

Friendships flourish.

And they become stuck.

Friendships burst into joy.

Friendships can be a great joy or a total heart break.

And, sometimes, friendships end.

Ouch.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,318

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It’s complex being a human.

Dear Self,

It’s complex.

Being a human.

Managing the wildly contradictory but simultaneously accurate states of being the centre of my own world and of being a small insignificant atom in the broader universe.

I am contradictions.

Lots of them.

Often times I don’t know what to do with that.

Being a human.

It’s complex.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,317

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Holding onto the thread of myself.

Holding onto the thread of myself. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Holding onto the thread of myself. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

It is hardest to keep up this daily writing habit during the holidays.

All the edges fray.

I stop shaving.

I get to bed late.

I don’t wake at 6 am.

I don’t get out of bed and sit down and write.

The day becomes a deconstructed series of events that have fewer edges than normal…and I forget.

Why not just stop writing for the holidays?

I’ve thought about that.

I keep writing because it means through periods of rest and regeneration I keep a hold of the thread of myself.

Which I find valuable.

And comforting.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,316

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Uh-oh. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

It’s 12:35pm and I haven’t written and published a Dear Self yet.

Uh-oh.

I considered pretending that I’d made the deadline.

I thought about changing the time stamp on the blog post.

So that I didn’t post this late.

But then I thought, who am I lying to? Myself?

Pointless, really.

I wonder what happens now?

Love

Luke

ps: I changed the date and time code on the blog post, because I could.

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Day 1,315

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Stealing something we can’t replace.

Stealing something we can’t replace. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Stealing something we can’t replace. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’ve been mending a pair of knitted gloves.

They had really become a couple of large holes with some thread holding them together…well not quite, but close.

It’s been an adventure that I have really enjoyed.

I told them that it was going to be messy, so I had permission for a bit of trial and error.

They are a earthy red colour and I have mended them with a golden mustard wool. This makes the mend incredibly obvious, which has had an unexpected consequence.

As I have mended them, I have also brought to life all of the stress points in the gloves. The areas that get the most wear and tear were obviously the ones that had the biggest holes and now have the largest mends.

I feel like I have had a chance to get to know these gloves and the person who wears them. I’ve come to understand something about them. I’ve been holding the space where their hands rest and now I know them a little better.

And the fact that this object, that was deeply loved but not far off the rubbish bin, now has another life, perhaps even years more of life, is a kind of satisfying that I can’t really explain.

I feel like humans are meant to give our clothing a decent life. That when we don’t, we are stealing something from ourselves that we can’t replace.

It’s really quite moving to use my humble mending skills in this way.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,314

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Running in the rain

Running in the rain. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Running in the rain. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Today a friend of mine and I ran in the rain

It was joyful and outrageous and cold and uncomfortable and very satisfying.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,313

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.